THE MAPLE LEAFS LOSE TO THE PREDS, INSPIRING A VOLCANO OF HOT TAKES

The Toronto Maple Leafs are the best team in hockey — unless they aren’t. Well, tonight they lost to the Nashville Predators in a pretty devastating fashion, and hot takes were abound.

Take this steamer, for instance:

Which isn’t necessarily a take by conventional definitions until you realize who inspired it:

Aww, yeah. Our favorite takist Steve Simmonds was on the fucking case tonight, making sure that whatever narrative he dreamed up the night before was fully realized in his post-game interviews.

But little Stevie wasn’t done there. Check this shit:

Steve has boarded a train, and the only stop he’s willing to get off at is Hot Take City. What a champion.

But Simmonds wasn’t the only one willing to dose out a healthy serving of hot takery. Check this out:

Holy hell. Compete level is obviously one of the stats that we at The Hot Takery monitor closely, and what Leafs’ captain Dion Phaneuf said makes a lot of sense, especially if you don’t think about it.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Phil Kessel — noted enemy of the expert media — has a lot of ‘splainin’ to do, and Darren Dreger is going to make sure he goes against the wall:

It’s almost as though no one predicted the Leafs would be a garbage fire this year, given their management and coaching.