STAN SAVRAN THINKS THE POLICE MURDERED THE PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

We all know that the truly great takists are able to thrust current events — no matter how depressing, irrelevant, or sensitive — into their piping hot takes. Well, it appears that craft has a new master — Pittsburgh sports man Stan Savran.

Earlier this evening while the Pittsburgh Penguins were facing off against the Columbus Blue Jackets, Savran made the following observation:

UPDATE: Pete Blackburn, hot take devotee, was able to capture this take:

Wow. That is a….uhh…..REALLY GREAT OBSERVATION.

I wasn’t able to catch any of this game, but man, now I know exactly how the Penguins played. Phrases like “they seemed tired,” “they were outplayed,” or “they dropped a deuce on the ice harder than Chuck C. Johnson” just wouldn’t accurately describe the situation.

No, here Savran knew that invoking the death of Eric Garner at the hands of police (and the subsequent protests) to describe a hockey game was absolutely necessary.

I feel like I was actually at the game, now.

UPDATE 2: It seems the goddamn firemen got to Savran, and forced him to make an apology (FOR WHAT?). You can check that out at Next Impulse Sports, you know, if you want your day to be ruined.