PHILADELPHIA-TAKITIS CONNECTION DOESN’T CONCERN NHL BEAT WRITERS

Visiting NHL teams’ beat writers are not overly concerned about being in Philadelphia, where at least three Flyers beat writers have contracted Takitis — a disease that causes victims to write only scorching hot takes.

“People keep warning me about how hot the takes have become in Philly since the Takitis outbreak,” said Globe and Mail reporter James Mirtle. “The experts keep telling us that it takes years to fully contract it, so I’m not overly concerned, although I hope those experts are right.”

“From what I’ve been told, Takitis is pretty much a more extreme version of being wrong, but more people die of being wrong every year,” reporter Mike Heika said. “It’s a disease transmitted through prolonged close contact with Master Takists and stuff like that. I’m not too worried about it. It’s not on my mind.”

The NHL talked to the beat writers about the importance of employing good logic when they visit Philadelphia, Commissioner Gary Bettman said.

In other news, Sam Carchidi is a disgrace.