NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS DURING NHL FREE AGENCY

By | July 8, 2015

It’s summer, which is generally accepted as “silly season” for the NHL and NBA — that is, when teams try to woo the piping hottest free agents on the market and inevitably end up doing stupid crap.

Not so fast, says USA Today’s Mark Whicker. It seems we’ve all been mistaken about how NHL free agency can get ridiculous. Nope, all the silliness goes to the NBA.

But don’t take my word for it. Read the words of the budding hot takist yourslf:

Players understand there are no significant salary-cap exemptions in the NHL. They sign long extensions to make sure they aren’t frozen out. The top free agent on this year’s market was Paul Stastny, who signed a four-year, no-drama, $28 million deal with St. Louis.

Notice how Whicker doesn’t provide anything to substantiate the claim that Stastny’s extension is a “no-drama” deal. No comparables, no analysis of the contract, just words. Steaming hot words. This, my friends, is aces hot takery.

And if you don’t think about it too long, Whicker makes a bunch of sense here. Barring Dave Bolland getting far overpaid by the Florida Panthers, Brad Richards getting bought out only a few years into a multi-year deal, and the Flyers’ trying to ship out Vincent Lecavalier to pretty much anyone, this offseason has been a shining example of how NHL teams never make moves that they later regret.

I mean, in the NBA you have the LeBron Jameses of the world teasing every team they can, which would never happen in the NHL. And even if it did, that guy would never end up being a dud and getting bought out soon after signing a really bad deal. But I digress.

Here’s to you, Mark Whicker, for putting words on the internet. We at The Hot Takery welcome you with open arms.