By | June 11, 2015

Good, I got your attention. Let me just admit that I was being a little misleading in my headline, but you probably understand that given that misleading headlines are a principle of hot takery. And don’t worry, I have the hot takes to back it up.

All this week the sports news media world was fixated on basketball ruiner LeBron James and where he would eventually land in the NBA. You might think that the hot takes were confined to the basketball scribes, but hoo boy that is not the case.

While many takists assembled a ton of words about what this meant for the NBA, a few out-of-the-box thinkers were asking the really important question — what does the LeBron signing mean for the Toronto Maple Leafs?

If that sounds slightly insane, allow me to explain in the form of hot takery. First up, we have this gem from The Hockey News:

I know, steaming hot right? Unfortunately, the take within this tweet cools off a little, but the gist is that the Leafs should try to lure some Tranna boys back home, or something. Why the Toronto Maple Leafs would want a basketball player on their team is beyond me, but I’m not about to pour water on this flaming hot take.

(side note: if the Leafs need basketball players on their roster, why wouldn’t they go after the 1996 Chicago Bulls? That makes a bit more sense, in my opinion. Makes you think.)

If that Hockey News tweet wasn’t smokin’ hot enough for you, allow me to present this steamer that was dished out shortly after LeBron announced he was going back to the Cleveland Cavaliers:

ARE YOU LISTENING, TORONTO? All you have to do to change the culture is draft a generational player, have him leave during free agency, and then come back. It’s practically a mathematical formula for Stanley Cups, and I’m at a loss as to why you haven’t done it yet.

Sometimes slow news days in the hockey world can be landmark days in hot takery.